Feb 09
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By steve
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Golf Ninja

Golf Ninja
When I happened across this puppy, I was tempted to just post a long string of repeating lol’s and let the photo speak for itself. It surely could. I mean, how could I really add any value to such an exquisite gem? But I couldn’t stand not knowing more about the man who thinks squatting like spiderman is acceptable golf etiquette, and I thought you might be curious too.

As a quick backstory, I was searching “Golf Ninja” because we have a client who’s logo is a ninja with golf clubs. Funny logo, way funnier reality, way detrimental to my productivity.
Now, I’m no sports junkie, so excuse my ignorance if you unaffectedly watch this goof hover-plank 18 holes a day on ESPN7… but I was tickled and mystified by this act of contortionism, and my curiosity would not go unquenched.

My CyberStalk:
All I had to go off of was the “cob…” on his visor, so I type “golf cob” and google immediately suggests Cobra. Progress! I then search for golfers sponsored by Cobra and get a fairly long list:

Rickie Fowler? Too young.

Jason Gore? Too fat.

Johan Edfors? Too scruffy

Blair o’Neal? Too hot!

Jonas Blixt? Too pale

Diego Valasquez? wtf

Ian Poulter? Hmm… pink pants. Maybe? Nah.

Camilo Villegas… BINGO!!!

The pride I feel for having found him is duly amplified by the plethora of spidey pics google has served up. And when viewed in succession, it seems obvious that he spends the entire game just slinking around on his face salamander-style.

Why is the golf community not trumpeting this guy’s name? You don’t have to like golf to enjoy a man acting-a-fool on the golf course. Did we learn nothing from Happy Gilmore?

Camilo, though I have never seen you play, know very little about you, and have absolutely no authority to do so, I hearby deem you The People’s Golfer.

First Planking, then Tebowing. Lord, please let “Camiloing” be next.

CategorySports Tagged , , , ,
Feb 08
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By steve
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Losing Tons of Hair

Melissa your hair!
OMGRUOK?
Postpartum hair loss.

Stuff I Haiku-gle:
A series where heart-warming poetry describes the results of a search.
Feb 07
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By steve
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Best Time to Tweet

I just started “Stuff I Google” two weeks ago, but in this age of instant gratification, I want 5,000 hits per day, and I want it now. So, I’ve been trying to leverage my thousands dozens of Twitter followers to spread the word. To optimize the effectiveness of my tweets, I searched for some advice. I found this super helpful infographic from Dan Zarrella. Click on it to view the full thing.

In summary, the best time of day to tweet is 2pm, and weekends seem to be most effective as well. There are some other interesting statistics on there too, so don’t miss out.

He also created a tool called TweetWhen which generates a graph showing what time of day you personally get retweeted the most. Unsurprisingly, as someone who hasn’t historically spent much time on Twitter, I had too little data to generate a graph, but I’m hoping to change that in the coming months.

CategoryLiving Tagged , ,
Feb 06
2 Comments
By steve
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Why Do Peppermints Get Holes

This brand of peppermints had smaller holes than most.

I’ve always wondered why peppermints get all holey when you suck on them. No other candy does that. “Maybe there’s an ingredient that dissolves faster than the rest,” I predicted. Nope, the answer is more obvious / boring than that. Air Pockets.

Someone in this forum decided to dissect one to see if he could see evidence of air bubbles. I did the same, and found that they aren’t so much bubbles, but more like long tubes of air that seem to be the result of stretching the candy before it’s sliced.

CategoryHow it Works Tagged , ,
Feb 05
3 Comments
By ellepea
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What Causes Crazy Dreams Every Night?

I have always been a vivid dreamer. But lately it’s getting out of hand. This past week I’ve woken up each morning feeling like I wrote six screenplays in my sleep the night before. Tuesday night I travelled back and forth in time through a magical elevator, and Thursday I stressed out trying to find the classroom for an AP Calculus final in a class that I hadn’t attended all semester.

After eight solid hours of adventure sleep, I’m exhausted. Naturally I turned to Google to find out what was causing my sleep-self to be so active, and what I could do to stifle my subconscious so I don’t wake up feeling like I just ran a mental marathon.

Turns out, I may actually be getting better sleep than someone who isn’t dreaming a lot, since intense dreams usually happen during REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement = kinda creepy), in which time you’re deeply KO’d. The REM cycle happens a few times a night and each cycle lasts about 90 minutes. That’s like five plus hours of writing time per night!

This very informative article breaks down dreams into eight helpful genres (see below), and offers dream causes ranging from: repressed emotions needing to seep out, to our mind alleviating anxiety by helping us connect subconscious dots. Pretty amazing stuff.

Any of these sound familiar?

  • Processing
  • Venting (Nightmares)
  • Integration
  • Breakdown/breakthrough
  • Recurring (High school exams/locker combos for me on this one…)
  • Precognitive
  • Prophetic (I dreamt my best friend was preggo on the day she found out. So weird.)
  • Wish fulfillment

Conclusion: I guess I should be more grateful of our amazing minds, and for my lucid dreams…Start keeping a dream diary, analyze them, and maybe even use them for creative inspiration? The human brain, you guys!

CategoryHow it Works, Science Tagged , ,
Feb 05
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By Parker
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Why Do Camels Spit?

No idea how I wound up on this question, but that’s probably true of 95% of the stuff I google, so let’s just get right to it… why do camels spit!?!?

Well, the short answer is that they don’t. So you might be thinking, “hmm… I wonder where I got that crazy misconception? I guess I don’t have to worry about that next time I’m around a camel.” But the long answer is that what they actually do is a lot grosser.

Hey, I'm a camel, and I'm disgusting.

Apparently, when camels “spit,” what they are actually doing is a lot closer to vomiting. Camels are ruminants, which means something, but I don’t know what, and I didn’t really feel like googling that at the time. Anyway, they are similar to cows in that way and this means that when they get agitated they will burp up some of their cud (or semi-digested contents of their fore-stomach). They then flap their head to get some of that good cud onto their bottom droopy lip which they then fling into the air. Impressively enough, using this technique, they can apparently cover the upper half of a human.

I was hoping to really delve into their psyches and find what kind of trauma caused them to be so gross, but I didn’t really get that information. Evidently they don’t do this to humans much, but that doesn’t change the fact that they still leapfrogged bullfrogs in my most feared animals list.

CategoryScience Tagged , , , ,
Feb 04
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By Stephanie
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Mary Tyler Moore Phone

I recently fell in love with The Mary Tyler Moore Show and decided to make Mary Richards my style inspiration. So far, this has resulted in my cavorting about the city wearing an excessive amount of charcoal eyeliner and the one pair of flared pants that I own. I also changed my facebook profile picture to a picture of Mary, because. . . why not?

This morning, I arrived at work to find that after two years, I finally got my very own phone at my very own desk. With my very own phone extension. I needed a new facebook photo, stat. So I searched Mary Tyler Moore Phone.

Conclusion: The internet is full of photos of Mary on the job at WJM, including this gem.

CategoryImages, Uncategorized Tagged ,
Feb 04
1 Comment
By jared
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How Long is the Timer on Catchphrase?

Last Saturday, my family and I were looking to play a rousing game of Catchphrase. We encountered a snag when we discovered that we had no batteries for the timer. “To Google!” we all said.

We found a wealth of advertising for the game itself, but only one place that looked promising: A place called Boardgamegeek.com, a message board for board game enthusiasts. A haven, if you will.

http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/270726/help-me-how-many-words-do-you-get-per-round

CategoryLiving Tagged , ,
Feb 03
4 Comments
By steve
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“I Before E Except After C” Extended

We all know the old adage “I before E, except after C.” We also know that it should be selectively obeyed because it’s not always so simple. I remember having heard a longer version of the rule as a kid, and my friend Parker had heard a different one. Thus, the quest to find the most comprehensive rendition of the poem began.

What I found is that it’s the worst “rule” ever. There are so many exceptions, it’s almost a disservice to teach it to children. I found two versions of the poem that included an extra verse to help cover a few exceptions, but nothing that adequately exposed the small subset of words this law actually applies to. So I took the verses I found, combined them, and added some of my own. This is what I ended up with:

I before E except after C, and when sounding like A as in neighbor or weigh.

Either, neither, leisure, and seize, are exceptions if you please.

Weird is weird, and it makes this rule bunk, and whoever spelled Budweiser the first time was drunk.

…And as if in one final act of defiance, come I-after-C words like conscience and science.

Parker also reminded me of a similar rhyme we—with the help of our roommates—came up with back in college. It went something like this:

O before U except after Q, and when sounding like ‘you.’
…Or in fluoride, buoy, and duo.

We could never figure out how to make that last part rhyme, but even without it, the rule holds up as well as the “i before e” one.

Search Results I found Helpful:
Excerpt From: I before E (except after C): old-school ways to remember stuff

The Free Dictionary Language Forum

CategoryEnglish Tagged , ,
Feb 02
2 Comments
By steve
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Stop Washer From Shaking

My mom won some kind of sweepstakes last month and got a whole new set of appliances: Water Heater; Fridge; Dishwasher; Washer/Dryer. They already had a new Washer and Dryer though, so they gave it to us for Christmas. I just got around to hooking it up this week. It’s not the first set I’ve installed, but it is the nicest… which is why I was surprised when the thing tried to self-destruct every time it ran the spin cycle. The first time it happened I was upstairs and the house started rumbling so inexplicably, that my first reaction was, “Rapture?” A moment later, it hit me, and I ran downstairs to find the washer slamming itself up against the cinderblock wall several feet and perpendicular from where it was installed.

The collective wisdom of the internet said that it just needed to be leveled, but after meticulously adjusting the feet for an hour, I took this video.

I only wish I’d taken a video before the leveling, because it dramatically improved the situation, and at least I wasn’t worried about it ripping the pipes out of the wall anymore. But obviously, something still wasn’t right. After I’d exhausted all of my ideas, I did something I rarely resort to, I read the instructions. “REMOVE SHIPPING BOLTS from back of machine before use.” Hmph. Why couldn’t you have told me that google?

CategoryFixes Tagged ,
Feb 01
1 Comment
By MarthTwain
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Why are feet ticklish?

Okay, this is a great question to ask, you’re all thinking.  Sure, we’re ticklish, but why?

Turns out that Livestrong has some ideas and, as usual, things end up with me looking on Wikipedia.  Things always end up with me and Wikipedia.

Anyways, most likely it’s just a wacky ‘ol survival mechanism.  Like, hey, you have a centipede on your foot.  Or hey, you have a black widow hanging out in your armpit.  These are things that we need to know.

But then Charles Darwin has to throw in his stupid opinion.  We get it Darwin, you came up with evolution.  We get it, you have like … the absolute coolest beard ever.  We don’t stand a chance at that level of awesome-beard.  WE GET IT!  STOP RUBBING IT IN OUR STUPID FACES WITH INFERIOR BEARDS ON THEM!  I mean, the nerve of this guy!  Can you believe it?

Right, tickling.  Darwin thinks that it’s some wacky bonding social thing, like teaching kids to trust their parents while also bonding.  Sure.  I mean, he’s probably right, just check out that glorious beard.

CategoryWhy it Works Tagged , ,
Feb 01
2 Comments
By steve
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How Much to Tip Pizza Guy

Much like a waiter,
many give fifteen percent.
Me? Two bucks a pie.

Stuff I Haiku-gle:
A series where heart-warming poetry describes the results of a search.
Jan 31
2 Comments
By steve
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Are Grapes Berries

I was eating some grape salad the other day, and suddenly found myself humming the tune to the Little Lad Starburst Commercial. Yeah, you know the one. “Berries and cream, berries and cream, I’m a little lad who loves berries and cream!” Amused by my own subconscious connection between some creamy grapes and a song about creamy berries, I realized my subconscious  had recalled a fact from Kindergarten that my rational self had long misplaced…that grapes are a berry…i think.

I mean, when I consider what they look like, and how they grow, it’s obvious. But nobody says, “We toured the Nappa Valley berry orchards last Spring,” or “Pick up some of those green berries when you go to the store.” And if I ever ordered a triple-berry cobbler, and out came a dessert comprised of three grape varietals, I’d be less than thrilled. So, I guess I just hadn’t thought about it. Just to make sure, I checked the web, which not only confirmed my theory, but also made me feel like an idiot, and reassured me that I’m not the biggest idiot, all at the same time. Thanks Internet!

CategorySubpar Intelligence Tagged , ,
Jan 30
1 Comment
By Stephanie
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Is OkCupid really okay?

Shortly before the holidays, a slew of my friends took a stab at online dating. Kim immediately enlisted me in routinely proofreading her profile for typos or anything else that might make her undesirable to eligible bachelors. I wasn’t the ideal candidate for this job. Yes, my grammar is impeccable. However, I’m chronically undateable. Also, I promptly forgot her OkCupid name.

One night, I got a text message reading: “Updated fave movies. Too many rom coms?? Check it out!!”

Check it out. Crap. Was she KC23? KC323? KLCThirtySomethingPisces? The only thing I could visualize in my mind was the tagline she’d used, “Is OkCupid really okay?” And instead of behaving like a normal person and texting back, “Remind me. Your handle?” I went to Google and searched her tagline. I was never able to locate Kim’s page because I was overwhelmed by all of the single people who wanted to know how OkCupid stacks up to Match and Eharmony.

If you really want to know if OkCupid is okay, here are some people with opinions on the subject. Now stop flooding the internet with this question so I can find Kim’s profile.

CategoryLiving Tagged ,
Jan 30
2 Comments
By steve
Searched For:

Metal Eating Bacteria

Reason for Search:

As I was writing Thursday’s post about holes in aluminum foil, I mentioned that I’d considered metal-munching bacteria as the culprit. Since I wasn’t sure if such a thing even existed, I did a quick search to make sure I wasn’t about to sound like an idiot.

Conclusions:

Bacteria don’t actually “eat” metals but they can corrode them. This is called MIC (Microbially-Induced Corrosion) and the main cause is sulfate-eating bacteria that produce sulfides as a waste product.

Useful Search Results:

http://www.corrosionclinic.com/types_of_corrosion/microbiologically_influenced_biological_microbial_corrosion.htm

CategoryScience Tagged ,
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